Be There!

All characters in this write-up are real; any resemblance to any person living or dead is 100% intentional.

“Marriage is an institution” people say – so is an Asylum. I happened to study mathematics and loved the congruence theorem! Need I say more?

Spending time with your wife, you have so many opportunities to share and listen. Typically the wife shares and you the poor husband get to listen - all the time!

It was good that Columbus was not married – else he would never have discovered America…every time he would make plans for travel, the wife would start “Where are you going? When will you come back? What will you bring for me? And so on… in fact he would have never ventured out of his house. Worst, he set out to discover India and discovered America… Imagine all the questions his wife would have asked him on reaching home!

Most of the men have been taken care of and pampered by Mothers, would suddenly find themselves surfing unknown territories after marriage. The journey would, in due course take them to a wonderful place - the kitchen. Men, feel proud, the world’s best Chefs are men, and then there are others who just hate to help their poor wives. Unlike other husbands, I help my wife with 50% of cooking (she cooks, I eat).

With wardrobes overflowing with clothes, everyday you would hear “Oh dear! I am getting late. I don’t know which dress to wear and which sandal would go along with it!” And as if scripted, she would smilingly look at the husband and say “Honey, could you please help? How do I look with this top?” If you are the husband, you would have no choice but to respond: “Oh darling you look fabulous”. However deep inside you really don’t care… you just need to leave NOW! On top of it, you need to keep a plastic smile and a cool head.

There are so many men I know, who proudly claim “At home I'm the BOSS”; and in a soft tone would add “my wife just decides what I do, how I do and when I do things." I know many ladies would be secretly smiling reading this! I remember sometime back my friend, Prashant who was charged up after attending a leadership & change management workshop. He went up to his wife looked into her eyes and said “I need more space”. Prashant was a loving and doting husband like most of us. His wife had never seen him so assertive and she decided to grant him his wish. She gave him all the extra space he deserved. She locked Prashant outside the house. Prashant now talks with confidence about ventilation, fresh air, key makers and the gossip mongers in his housing society.

Mencken said, “Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't, they'd be married too.”   If you are a bachelor reading this, don’t be surprised.  If you are adventure loving, outdoor person, it is my earnest request to embark on this journey now.  For those who have never ventured – would not understand the joy… and those who have, would never overcome the pain ;) We need more supporters to increase the clan! After years of waiting to form a group of likeminded men who have suffered at the hands of the Boss, we have finalized our first meeting – venue is at your marriage. We are hopeful that you would be there!

Note: No women were harmed till the time of writing this piece, however I cannot guarantee my safety after my wife reads this. Bouquets welcome, brickbats could be sent to another address.